Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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