you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
