Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
