you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
