if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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