im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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