Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
