He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
