im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
