We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
