That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
