I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need a beard to bite.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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