Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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