So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
