Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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