I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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