its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
