Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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