His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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