what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
