I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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