wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Randomize
