You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
