I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
