do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
even my farts smell like vagina
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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