Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
