You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Success! We fucked roommates!
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
