Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
