anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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