Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
