im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
