hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
