mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
The air was thick with penises
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
