She is in my trunk
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
