i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
