I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well I just put wine in my tea
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
