it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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