Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
