how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
