im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
