There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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