at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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