My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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