Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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