Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
