he shaved USA in his pubs
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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