I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
