3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
