I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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