I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
