Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
