Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
